if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
