he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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