so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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