For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
