it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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