Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
