I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
