At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
