u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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