dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
