Are we in a gay sports bar?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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