I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
