I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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