my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I cut my penus on the lid.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
