Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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