Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
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