'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
