i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
