I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
