I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
