Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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