She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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