So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
