Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
