So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
