Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
