I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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