No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
