I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
