After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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