Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
