this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
