Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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