im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
