Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
