At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
