he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
