You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
That's when you crack a 10am beer
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
