I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
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