that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
