you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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