he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
