He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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