We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I feel great
I just peed on a car
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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