Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
