I want to have your abortion
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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