are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
