U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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