i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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