Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
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