I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
